Showing posts with label TODDLER FIGHTS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TODDLER FIGHTS. Show all posts

Saturday, November 21, 2020

HOW TO STOP TODDLER FIGHTS- HOW TO STOP TODDLER FIGHTS AMOUNG SIBLINGS

 


When toddlers fight it sucks. Here are some tips to stop them and preserve your sanity.



















































































































 

Work it Mommy Podcast

 

WORK IT MOMMY PODCAST

Learn, Connect, Encourage


The goal here is to learn to BE THE BEST MOM EVER. That looks a little different for everyone. That's the beauty of it. Being a mom can be stressful but we can do it and come out on the other end happy and with a grand sense of accomplishment knowing that we have given our all to our children. It's true, babies don't come with a set of instructions but it's our job as mothers to do all we can to make motherhood work for us. How does a mom learn to be the best she can be as a parent and empower her future generation? We do it by connecting with other moms for support. We do it by lovingly building each other up. We do it by listening to each other.


Work it mommy Podcast Topics revolve around parenting for all stages and ages, children's and women's health, life balance, nutrition, mental & emotional health for mothers and children, beauty, fashion, business and career development. Product reviews, kitchen time savers and recipes. Delivering solo episodes, conversations and interviews in a real and relatable format.

Mildly comedic podcast encouraging mom's to be the best mom ever and most importantly maintain our sanity while you do it! How to stay balanced. How to instill positive qualities in your child. Life balance. Time saver tips. How to overcome challenges at every age. How to maintain your glam while being a mother. Wide range of topics in parenting, nutrition, product reviews, childhood development, pregnancy, newborns, toddlers, young kids & teens. Delivered in a no frills tell it like it is manner. Solo episodes, group discussions and interviews.

 


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Mompreneurs

 

WORK IT MOMMY PODCAST

Learn, Connect, Encourage


The goal here is to learn to BE THE BEST MOM EVER. That looks a little different for everyone. That's the beauty of it. Being a mom can be stressful but we can do it and come out on the other end happy and with a grand sense of accomplishment knowing that we have given our all to our children. It's true, babies don't come with a set of instructions but it's our job as mothers to do all we can to make motherhood work for us. How does a mom learn to be the best she can be as a parent and empower her future generation? We do it by connecting with other moms for support. We do it by lovingly building each other up. We do it by listening to each other.


Work it mommy Podcast Topics revolve around parenting for all stages and ages, children's and women's health, life balance, nutrition, mental & emotional health for mothers and children, beauty, fashion, business and career development. Product reviews, kitchen time savers and recipes. Delivering solo episodes, conversations and interviews in a real and relatable format.

Mildly comedic podcast encouraging mom's to be the best mom ever and most importantly maintain our sanity while you do it! How to stay balanced. How to instill positive qualities in your child. Life balance. Time saver tips. How to overcome challenges at every age. How to maintain your glam while being a mother. Wide range of topics in parenting, nutrition, product reviews, childhood development, pregnancy, newborns, toddlers, young kids & teens. Delivered in a no frills tell it like it is manner. Solo episodes, group discussions and interviews.

 


https://www.instagram.com/workitmommypodcast/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZCTvs_Zjmtk3OXKbm01T4Q/

https://workitmommy.com/

https://www.facebook.com/Work-it-Mommy-Podcast-101850135000021

https://workitmommypodcast.medium.com/

https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/defb3b0b-33b6-4160-b000-e6286130da8f/WORK-IT-MOMMY

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/work-it-mommy/id1535894042

https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5yZWRjaXJjbGUuY29tLzU3MWI3YjY2LTc5OGItNGZkMy1iYTc3LTgxMmY1YWMzNDAxZA==

https://radiopublic.com/work-it-mommy-G2e2m0

https://open.spotify.com/show/1ZsSYsOBB1ODoZl9wIfqLb

https://www.stitcher.com/show/work-it-mommy

https://redcircle.com/shows/work-it-mommy

https://www.pinterest.com/workitm/work-it-mom-mom-tips-and-motivation-for-all-ages/

https://workitmommypodcast.blogspot.com/

https://www.reddit.com/user/WORKITMOMMYPODCAST

mommy podcast

parenting podcast

parenting tips

motherhood

mom hacks

millennial mom

parenting tips

mom life

mommylife

millenial mom

first time mom

toddler mom

toddler tips

potty training

girl mom

glam mom

mom of multiples

kids

new mom

newborn

baby

toddler

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Co parenting

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family routine

bed time routine

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meal prep

mom advise

mom motivation

self care for moms

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scary mommy

podcast for moms

mommy needs vodka

very well family

todays parent

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co parenting

parenting motivation

parenting encouragement

nursing

postpartum care

pregnancy

breastfeeding

child nutrition

children’s nutrition

children’s mental health

Teen health

Teen mental health

Mom group

Baby nutrition

Baby products

MOMPRENEURS

HAIR CARE REVIEWS

SKIN CARE REVIEWS

MAKEUP REVIEWS

BEAUTY REVIEWS

KIDS BOOKS REVIEWS

NEW PODCAST

NEW YOUTUBE channel

New youtube channels

Podcast guest

Be a podcast guest

Be on a podcast

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Amazing parenting tips for new parents Becoming a parent can be one of the most amazing and stressful experiences anyone can go through. Not only because you have to take care of a cute tiny baby but also because it completely changes your life. So, in this video, we wanted to share with you some of our most interesting and amazing lifehacks that every parent should learn before their baby is born. - In order to calm your baby and help it get back to sleep without crying, simply fill a bag with some rice and place it on its bag in order to help it sleep. - If your child struggles to reach the sink when he/she are trying to wash their hands, then don't worry because we have the best hack for you. We show you how you can extend the faucet of your sink simply by cutting up a conditioner bottle. - Little ones tend to create a huge mess when they are eating so a bib doesn't really do the job when you need. Well, in this video we show you how you can repurpose a bathroom towel into an all over bib dress that you can let your child wear when they are eating. For those of you who can't get rid of their old toys and you are looking for ways to re-purpose them we have some brilliant ideas to share with you! - You can re-use an old teddy bear and turn it into a little hiding place for your candy or money. - If your child is starting to grow up and you don't feel like throwing away their little toys, we show how to turn it into a beautiful bowl for your fruits and veggies simply by melting some of them in the oven. - In order to encourage your kids to brush their teeth more often, we show you how you can turn their little dinosaurs into beautiful toothbrush holders that they can keep in the bathroom. Watch our whole video to see all of our creative and brilliant hacks we have for you that can inspire you as a parent! We also show you some amazing DIY toys for your kids that will help them stay entertained without you having to spend a lot of money on buying them new ones!

 

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Top 5 Mom Friend Problems—And How to Fix Them

Parenting is so much easier with good pals. Learn to overcome friendship hurdles and bond with women who get you.

 

It’s awkward to reach out to strangers.

Go where the moms are.

“If your new baby is too young for a library story hour but old enough to be out and among people, show up anyway! Scout out other new moms who might be likely friend candidates even if your babies are different ages,” says Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., a professor at Northern Illinois University and a coauthor of Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing With the Friends Who Break Them. In addition to the closest park, music classes are a great place to meet parents. You can sympathetically ask how they’re managing, and get their number to plan an after-class coffee sometime.

Keep in mind that they need you as much as you need them.

Most of us are used to making friends in the context of being the only “new” person—say, at a job or after moving. But when you meet a newbie parent, you can bet she is also feeling vulnerable and open to friendship. Focus on giving her your attention and the pressure to impress her will lift. For Ashley Gamell, mother of a toddler and a newborn, making friends in her small town of Rhinebeck, New York, didn’t turn out to be as hard as she imagined it would be. “Becoming a parent can be liberating in a way. You don’t look your best and perhaps you don’t have as many interesting things to say about the world at the moment, but neither do other parents, and you’re all too busy and exhausted to care.”

Go ahead and scroll during nighttime feedings.

When you see another mom posting about bottle brands at 3 a.m., you’ll know you’re not alone in the world. And take the plunge and post on the local Facebook mom group that you’re looking for new mom friends. Leave comments on friends’ photos too.

  • RELATED: The Importance of Mom Friendships

Your pre-kids friend group feels like it’s drifting away.

Take baby steps.

Choose one “old” friend and text or call her. “Tell her you’re a little overwhelmed and not even sure how to get yourself out of the house with the baby, but you’d just like to know how she’s doing,” suggests F. Diane Barth, a licensed clinical social worker. Keep going through your phone list, texting one person per day, and soon you’ll start to feel like you’re above water again.

Look for friends who are just right for right now.

Like those friends you met during college orientation, you don’t need people who are exactly “your type.” You just need other moms to get you through this phase. Plus, when you need a break from your main preoccupations, you can still reach out to your old friends, who will be happy to complain to you about whatever they are going through.

Have faith that you’ll come together again.

“If you keep old relationships open and easy, once an old friend becomes a new parent or is less busy with her own kids, the two of you might just be ready to amp up your friendship again,” says Dr. Degges-White. I recently hung out with a few friends who have newborns. As I listened to them chat, I suddenly felt the way I had in high school when everyone discovered a band I had been into for years. “You guys had no interest in this stuff when I was going through it!” I blurted out. “Well,” one said to placate me, “you were a pioneer.”

  • RELATED: 8 Products Your Smart Mom Friends Are Recommending

You’ve found new friends, but you don’t agree with their parenting style.

Say nothing for now.

“Remember, other parents are as likely to follow your well-meaning advice as you are to follow theirs,” says Dr. Degges-White. “Don’t offer unsolicited feedback unless you feel their practices pose a danger to your child.” If you’re determined to preach your own beliefs at every turn, you might receive fewer playdate invites.

Let things play out.

“It will take time to know whether these new connections will work in the long run,” says Barth. One of my neighbors believes that a restricted diet improves her child’s behavior. Even if I’m skeptical of her theory, she’s not imposing anything on me, so the friendship works fine. But another neighbor whose attitude toward discipline diverges from mine has been a different story. I gave this friendship a chance for a few good years, and now I know it was meant to fizzle out.

Get used to it.

Dealing with different parenting styles now is good training for later, when your kids are older and the stakes may be higher And it’s a good way to teach tolerance by example.

Your new mom friends don’t mesh well with your old friends.

Let the situation solidify your identity.

Bridging the distance between friends from various periods of your life is a good exercise in clarifying your own values. It can be freeing to learn to “be yourself” no matter who is there. Try to consider any social tension as yet another gift of motherhood that will help you grow.

Keep hope alive.

“If you want to throw a party and invite your whole crew of diverse friends, go ahead and do it,” says Dr. Degges-White. “When the pressure is off to ‘get along’ and the event is more relaxed, there might be more cross-pollination between your friends than you thought there would be.”

  • RELATED: Building a Mommy Support System

Decide that it’s not a problem.

My friend Melissa moved to Miami about a year after she gave birth to her daughter. Most of the people she knew in New York City, her former home, were in publishing. “Only one of my friends here is in media,” she says. “The moms I’ve met are teachers, lawyers, stay-at-home moms—all people I probably would not have met if I were making friends at work, the way I used to. It’s nice to learn about new worlds."

You’ve seen other mom squads out and about, and it feels too late to join.

Ask about life beyond babies.

“It was tricky to break into groups because the moms had all met when their children were newborns,” Melissa says. “Nobody was unwelcoming per se, but they already knew each other’s backstories. I was working, so I would get invited to things that started at 11 a.m. or 2:30 p.m., and I kept having to decline. When I was able to go to something, it was hard to break out of the ‘we’re only talking about children’ rut.” But once Melissa learned to ask deeper questions (about life choices or career journeys) and to bring up non-baby-related interests (such as fun things to do in her cool new city), she found she could speed up the friendship-forming timeline.

Remind yourself: This isn’t middle school.

“For many of us, trying to make new friends opens up painful wounds from childhood, when we felt as if we were on the outside of an important group and didn’t have the slightest idea how to get in,” says Barth. “We expect to be rejected by the group we want to join.” While there might be mom cliques, most adults snub new people accidentally because of their own social awkwardness or a lack of awareness, not out of meanness. Don’t assume the worst of a group just because it takes a while to break in with them.

  • RELATED: A Dozen Reasons You May or May Not Want to Be Friends With That Mom

Turn kindness into consistency.

“As kids get older and their friendships become important, your friendliness to other moms will pay off,” says Dr. Degges-White. Offering to carpool or trade babysitting hours with a potential parent friend, for example, will not only make your life easier, it will let you get to know her and her child in an unforced way. Raising kids does take a village, but sometimes you have to build it yourself, one friend at a time.

 

 

 Pre-Pregnancy Health

Before conceiving, you can increase your chances of having a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby. Eat a good pre-conception diet, be sure to exercise, and follow some important pre-pregnancy dos and don'ts.Also be sure to check out our section on general health.

 

Labor & Delivery

The entire process of labor and delivery can go quickly or it can be excruciatingly slow. Here you'll learn what to expect and how to prepare for labor and the delivery of your baby.

 

What is a "Natural Birth," Anyway?

Historically, a "natural birth" has been used to describe a birth that occurs vaginally without the use of pain medications (like narcotics or an epidural) or medical intervention of any kind. There's been a shift in the last few years, however, in the language around "natural" childbirth. For instance, some people may say that they are hoping for a "natural birth," but confuse the description to mean having a vaginal delivery versus a cesarean section. These are two wildly different birth experiences, but who is to say that one is more natural than the other? And then there's the concept of medicated delivery versus unmedicated delivery. If you deliver vaginally, but use medication, is your birth deemed "unnatural?" After all, isn't the act of giving birth in and of itself the most natural thing we experience?

 

How to Have the Right Labor and Delivery Experience For You

If a person wants to experience delivery without any medical intervention, it should be a matter of personal preference. In the United States, pregnant people are often able to work with their chosen prenatal care provider to decide between delivering at a hospital, a birth center, or at home based on their health and birth plan.

What you can do to prepare for your birth plan: Build a wide support system for yourself that includes friends and family as well as a birth team of providers you trust. "Even if your birth does not go as planned, building a trusting relationship with your birth team will help circumvent those adverse 4th-trimester outcomes," says McNeil.

Let our pregnancy week by week calendar guide you through the various stages of pregnancy right up until birth. We take you from the exciting time you first discover you're pregnant, through the uncomfortable stages of morning sickness. We'll help you pick a baby name, decorate your nursery, pack your hospital bag, and even prepare you for the pinnacle moment - the birth of your new baby! Find your week of pregnancy or get started with Week 1.

 

Let our pregnancy week by week calendar guide you through the various stages of pregnancy right up until birth. We take you from the exciting time you first discover you're pregnant, through the uncomfortable stages of morning sickness. We'll help you pick a baby name, decorate your nursery, pack your hospital bag, and even prepare you for the pinnacle moment - the birth of your new baby! Find your week of pregnancy or get started with Week 1.

 

Breastfeeding

Both you and your baby benefit from breastfeeding but it can be hard work. Here you'll learn how to breastfeed your baby and get expert breastfeeding tips. You'll also learn about breast milk, breast pumping, and when it's time to start weaning.

 

Breastfeeding

Both you and your baby benefit from breastfeeding but it can be hard work. Here you'll learn how to breastfeed your baby and get expert breastfeeding tips. You'll also learn about breast milk, breast pumping, and when it's time to start weaning.

 

The Cry It Out Method for Sleep Training: A Parent’s Guide

 

Some parents swear by the cry it out method—also known as extinction sleep training— while others think it's downright harmful. Here’s what you need to know about the technique.

 

The cry it out method is a type of sleep training that involves letting a baby cry for a period of time before they go to sleep. There are numerous variations on the cry it out method (also called extinction sleep training)—and they often spark heated debate among parents, pediatricians, and psychologists. Keep reading to learn more about the cry it out method, how it works, and whether it’s safe for your little one. 

 

Baby Development

Your baby's physical development is a thing of beauty and a source of pride. From sitting to crawling, walking to talking, smiling to laughing, each achievement is a developmental milestone. Learn what to expect next in your baby's physical and intellectual development.

 

Baby Development

Your baby's physical development is a thing of beauty and a source of pride. From sitting to crawling, walking to talking, smiling to laughing, each achievement is a developmental milestone. Learn what to expect next in your baby's physical and intellectual development.

 

 

Activities

Finding a fun activity to keep your child happy and busy requires a little imagination and help from us. Here you'll find a slew of our best activity ideas for toddlers and preschoolers ranging from games, to arts and crafts, and more.

 

How to Plant an Edible Garden with Kids

 

Spend time with your kids outside and show them where their food really comes from (not Trader Joe’s). And once they grow those leafy greens, they might actually eat them too.

 

Development

Learn about behaviors, first friends, language, manners, delays, and more with these developmental touchstones. Our month-by-month guide prepares you every step of the way.

 

 

4 Big Emotions to Talk About With Little Kids

The different ways your child behaves actually stems from a list of four complex emotions. Here’s how explain them to your child in a way they’ll understand so they can learn to manage them.

 

Children as young as 1 start to show emotions, and whether you realized it or not, that's when you started showing them back. Remember the time you told your little one, "Ouchie" and frowned when he threw that toy car? That's an emotion! "We implicitly identify, demonstrate, and explain why our toddlers shouldn't act a certain way by discussing and showing them the correct way," says Jaime Gleicher, LMSW, a behavioral therapist at Harstein Psychological Services Center in New York City.

But we often don't take the same time and effort to give those kinds of emotional cues to school-aged kids. "If you're just going to tell your child to go to her room when she misbehaves, you're missing an opportunity to discuss with her why she acted out and how she might be feeling," she adds. These small gestures can open the door to communication to help your child understand the complexities of emotions.

"There's no school subject on identifying and explaining emotions, even though building and growing your child's emotional intelligence and emotional vocabulary should start at a very young age. In my opinion, it's as important as learning numbers, letters, and color sorting," says Gleicher. The purpose of feelings is to make sense of what's going on inside of us and around us. Feelings give us quick feedback to use based upon our past experiences.

  • RELATEDHow to Help Your Preschooler Handle Emotions and Avoid Outbursts

Rather than trying to define a long list of emotions for your child, start with the basics. Here you will find the most common complex emotions which all other emotions stem from, and how to talk to your kids about them.

 

How to make things easier: A good technique to teaching children about an emotion is pointing it out in others. "When you read storybooks or watch movies, ask your child how they think the character may be feeling? This not only increases emotional vocabulary, it teaches empathy, the act of putting oneself in others' shoes

 

How to make things easier: Avoid the pitfall of saying "use your words" when a child is upset since it's not a reasonable expectation while the young child is still in the early stages of learning how to connect body and mind sensations with a feelings vocabulary. "I tell a lot of parents to create a feelings chart using emojis which all kids love—and use it to teach your kids to recognize how facial expressions correlate to feelings," says Gleicher. Or if they can't put a name to the feeling they're having, they can point to the expression that matches it.

 

Since it's more difficult for a young child to express the root of their fear, telling stories, acting out situations, or reading books about a particularly scary situation can help kids overcome fears. Experts recommend books

 

here's another kind of jealousy with young children that involves thinking you will lose or have lost some affection, attention, or security from another person because of someone or something else, including their interest in an activity that takes time away from you. This can show up in the smallest of situations, like when your child wants to have the biggest slice of birthday cake at his friend's party. If your child cries when he sees he doesn't get what he wants (he's not the birthday boy after all), ask him what's going on that's making him cry (even if you know why). You want to get your child talking about his emotions to recognize why they occur. "You want to validate their emotions and acknowledge them," says Dr. Zeltser. "I see you're upset about the cake" and "Sometimes we don't get what we want"—the key is to never start the next sentence with the word "but" as you're implicitly invalidating their feelings. Follow up with "and" instead—"And it's normal to want the biggest slice of cake. Today we're going to let your friend have it because it's his birthday." Then, shift the focus to something that would make your child feel happy, like asking your son to tell his friend how much fun he's having.

 

Intellectual Development

Your toddler is likely asking a lot of questions. Her cognitive development is exploding. From brain-boosting games to language-building tricks, here you'll learn everything about your child's intellectual development.

 

 

14 Tips for Disciplining Your Toddler

Even the best of parents struggle with how to discipline a toddler. Follow these simple strategies to keep your 2- and 3-year-olds in line.

 

 

 

1. Pick Your Battles

"If you're always saying, 'No, no, no,' your child will tune out the no and won't understand your priorities," says Pearson, author of The Discipline Miracle. "Plus you can't possibly follow through on all of the nos.'" Define what's important to you, set limits accordingly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Then ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the "who cares?" category—the habits your child is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple (and only purple).

"Keeping a good relationship with your child—who is of course in reality totally dependent upon you—is more important for her growth than trying to force her to respond in ways that she simply is not going to respond," says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., child psychiatrist and author of Raising Kids with Character. You may worry that "giving in" will create a spoiled monster, but Dr. Berger says this common anxiety isn't justified.

Hopefully, the positive reinforcement will encourage

 

2. Know Your Child's Triggers

Some misbehavior is preventable—as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance, such as removing tangible temptations. This strategy worked for Jean Nelson of Pasadena, California, after her 2-year-old son took delight in dragging toilet paper down the hall, giggling as the roll unfurled behind him. "The first two times Luke did it, I told him, 'No,' but when he did it a third time, I moved the toilet paper to a high shelf in the bathroom that he couldn't reach," Nelson says. "For a toddler, pulling toilet paper is irresistible fun. It was easier to take it out of his way than to fight about it."

 

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As a 2-year-old, Nathaniel Lampros of Sandy, Utah, was fascinated with toy swords and loved to duel with Kenayde, his 4-year-old sister. But inevitably, he'd whack her in the head, she'd dissolve in tears, and Angela, their mother, would come running to see what had happened. She'd ask Nathaniel to apologize, as well as give Kenayde a hug and make her laugh to pacify hurt feelings. If he resisted, Angela would put her son in time-out.

  • RELATED: 12 Ways to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

"I worried that Nathaniel would never outgrow his rough behavior, and there were days when I'd get so frustrated with him that I'd end up crying," recalls Lampros, now a mother of four. "But I really wanted Nathaniel to play nicely, so I did my best to teach him how to do it."

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For many mothers, doling out effective discipline is one of the toughest and most frustrating tasks of parenting, a seemingly never-ending test of wills between you and your child. Because just when your 2-year-old "gets" that she can't thump her baby brother in the head with a doll, she'll latch on to another bothersome behavior —and the process starts anew.

How exactly does one "discipline" a toddler? Some people equate it with spanking and punishment, but that's not what we're talking about. As many parenting experts see it, discipline is about setting rules to stop your little one from engaging in behavior that's aggressive (hitting and biting), dangerous (running out in the street), and inappropriate (throwing food). It's also about following through with consequences when he breaks the rules—or what Linda Pearson, a Denver-based psychiatric nurse practitioner who specializes in family and parent counseling, calls "being a good boss." Here are seven strategies that can help you set limits and stop bad behavior.

1. Pick Your Battles

"If you're always saying, 'No, no, no,' your child will tune out the no and won't understand your priorities," says Pearson, author of The Discipline Miracle. "Plus you can't possibly follow through on all of the nos.'" Define what's important to you, set limits accordingly, and follow through with appropriate consequences. Then ease up on little things that are annoying but otherwise fall into the "who cares?" category—the habits your child is likely to outgrow, such as insisting on wearing purple (and only purple).

"Keeping a good relationship with your child—who is of course in reality totally dependent upon you—is more important for her growth than trying to force her to respond in ways that she simply is not going to respond," says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., child psychiatrist and author of Raising Kids with Character. You may worry that "giving in" will create a spoiled monster, but Dr. Berger says this common anxiety isn't justified.

 

For Anna Lucca of Washington, D.C., that means letting her 2-1/2-year-old daughter trash her bedroom before she dozes off for a nap. "I find books and clothes scattered all over the floor when Isabel wakes up, so she must get out of bed to play after I put her down," Lucca says. "I tell her not to make a mess, but she doesn't listen. Rather than try to catch her in the act and say, 'No, no, no,' I make her clean up right after her nap." Lucca is also quick to praise Isabel for saying please and sharing toys with her 5-month-old sister. "Hopefully, the positive reinforcement will encourage Isabel to do more of the good behavior—and less of the bad," she says.

2. Know Your Child's Triggers

Some misbehavior is preventable—as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance, such as removing tangible temptations. This strategy worked for Jean Nelson of Pasadena, California, after her 2-year-old son took delight in dragging toilet paper down the hall, giggling as the roll unfurled behind him. "The first two times Luke did it, I told him, 'No,' but when he did it a third time, I moved the toilet paper to a high shelf in the bathroom that he couldn't reach," Nelson says. "For a toddler, pulling toilet paper is irresistible fun. It was easier to take it out of his way than to fight about it."

If your 18-month-old is prone to grabbing cans off grocery store shelves, bring toys for him to play with in the cart while you're shopping. If your 2-year-old won't share her stuffed animals during playdates at home, remove them from the designated play area before her pal arrives. And if your 3-year-old likes to draw on the walls, stash the crayons in an out-of-reach drawer and don't let him color without supervision.

3. Practice Prevention

Some children act out when they're hungry, overtired, or frustrated from being cooped up inside, says Harvey Karp, M.D., creator of the DVD and book The Happiest Toddler on the Block. If your child tends to be happy and energetic in the morning but is tired and grumpy after lunch, schedule trips to the store and visits to the doctor for when she's at her best. Prepare her for any new experiences, and explain how you expect her to act.

Also prepare her for shifting activities: "In a few minutes we'll need to pick up the toys and get ready to go home." The better prepared a child feels, the less likely she is to make a fuss.

4. Be Consistent

"Between the ages of 2 and 3, children are working hard to understand how their behavior impacts the people around them," says Claire Lerner, LCSW, director of parenting resources with Zero to Three, a nationwide nonprofit promoting the healthy development of babies and toddlers. "If your reaction to a situation keeps changing—one day you let your son throw a ball in the house and the next you don't—you'll confuse him with mixed signals."

5. Don't Get Emotional

Sure, it's hard to stay calm when your 18-month-old yanks the dog's tail or your 3-year-old refuses to brush his teeth for the gazillionth night in a row. But if you scream in anger, the message you're trying to send will get lost and the situation will escalate, fast.

"When a child is flooded with a parent's negative mood, he'll see the emotion and won't hear what you're saying," advised the late William Coleman, M.D., professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School in Chapel Hill. Indeed, an angry reaction will only enhance the entertainment value for your child, so resist the urge to raise your voice. Take a deep breath, count to three, and get down to your child's eye level. Be fast and firm, serious and stern when you deliver the reprimand.

6. Listen and Repeat

Kids feel better when they know they have been heard, so whenever possible, repeat your child's concerns. If she's whining in the grocery store because you won't let her open the cookies, say something like: "It sounds like you're mad at me because I won't let you open the cookies until we get home. I'm sorry you feel that way, but the store won't let us open things until they're paid for. That's its policy." This won't satisfy her urge, but it will reduce her anger and defuse the conflict.

 

7. Keep It Short and Simple

If you're like most first-time parents, you tend to reason with your child when she breaks rules, offering detailed explanations about what she did wrong and issuing detailed threats about the privileges she'll lose if she doesn't stop misbehaving. But as a discipline strategy, overt-talking is as ineffective as becoming overly emotional, according to Dr. Coleman. While an 18-month-old lacks the cognitive ability to understand complex sentences, a 2- or 3-year-old with more developed language skills still lacks the attention span to absorb what you're saying.

 

 

As a 2-year-old, Nathaniel Lampros of Sandy, Utah, was fascinated with toy swords and loved to duel with Kenayde, his 4-year-old sister. But inevitably, he'd whack her in the head, she'd dissolve in tears, and Angela, their mother, would come running to see what had happened. She'd ask Nathaniel to apologize, as well as give Kenayde a hug and make her laugh to pacify hurt feelings. If he resisted, Angela would put her son in time-out.

  • RELATED: 12 Ways to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

"I worried that Nathaniel would never outgrow his rough behavior, and there were days when I'd get so frustrated with him that I'd end up crying," recalls Lampros, now a mother of four. "But I really wanted Nathaniel to play nicely, so I did my best to teach him how to do it."

ADVERTISING

For many mothers, doling out effective discipline is one of the toughest and most frustrating tasks of parenting, a seemingly never-ending test of wills between you and your child. Because just when your 2-year-old "gets" that she can't thump her baby brother in the head with a doll, she'll latch on to another bothersome behavior —and the process starts anew.

How exactly does one "discipline" a toddler? Some people equate it with spanking and punishment, but that's not what we're talking about. As many parenting experts see it, discipline is about setting rules to stop your little one from engaging in behavior that's aggressive (hitting and biting), dangerous (running out in the street), and inappropriate (throwing food). It's also about following through with consequences when he breaks the rules—or what Linda Pearson, a Denver-based psychiatric nurse practitioner who specializes in family and parent counseling, calls "being a good boss." Here are seven strategies that can help you set limits and stop bad behavior.

"Keeping a good relationship with your child—who is of course in reality totally dependent upon you—is more important for her growth than trying to force her to respond in ways that she simply is not going to respond," says Elizabeth Berger, M.D., child psychiatrist and author of Raising Kids with Character. You may worry that "giving in" will create a spoiled monster, but Dr. Berger says this common anxiety isn't justified.

For Anna Lucca of Washington, D.C., that means letting her 2-1/2-year-old daughter trash her bedroom before she dozes off for a nap. "I find books and clothes scattered all over the floor when Isabel wakes up, so she must get out of bed to play after I put her down," Lucca says. "I tell her not to make a mess, but she doesn't listen. Rather than try to catch her in the act and say, 'No, no, no,' I make her clean up right after her nap." Lucca is also quick to praise Isabel for saying please and sharing toys with her 5-month-old sister. "Hopefully, the positive reinforcement will encourage Isabel to do more of the good behavior—and less of the bad," she says.

2. Know Your Child's Triggers

Some misbehavior is preventable—as long as you can anticipate what will spark it and you create a game plan in advance, such as removing tangible temptations. This strategy worked for Jean Nelson of Pasadena, California, after her 2-year-old son took delight in dragging toilet paper down the hall, giggling as the roll unfurled behind him. "The first two times Luke did it, I told him, 'No,' but when he did it a third time, I moved the toilet paper to a high shelf in the bathroom that he couldn't reach," Nelson says. "For a toddler, pulling toilet paper is irresistible fun. It was easier to take it out of his way than to fight about it."

If your 18-month-old is prone to grabbing cans off grocery store shelves, bring toys for him to play with in the cart while you're shopping. If your 2-year-old won't share her stuffed animals during playdates at home, remove them from the designated play area before her pal arrives. And if your 3-year-old likes to draw on the walls, stash the crayons in an out-of-reach drawer and don't let him color without supervision.

 

 

3. Practice Prevention

Some children act out when they're hungry, overtired, or frustrated from being cooped up inside, says Harvey Karp, M.D., creator of the DVD and book The Happiest Toddler on the Block. If your child tends to be happy and energetic in the morning but is tired and grumpy after lunch, schedule trips to the store and visits to the doctor for when she's at her best. Prepare her for any new experiences, and explain how you expect her to act.

Also prepare her for shifting activities: "In a few minutes we'll need to pick up the toys and get ready to go home." The better prepared a child feels, the less likely she is to make a fuss.

4. Be Consistent

"Between the ages of 2 and 3, children are working hard to understand how their behavior impacts the people around them," says Claire Lerner, LCSW, director of parenting resources with Zero to Three, a nationwide nonprofit promoting the healthy development of babies and toddlers. "If your reaction to a situation keeps changing—one day you let your son throw a ball in the house and the next you don't—you'll confuse him with mixed signals."

There's no timetable as to how many incidents and reprimands it will take before your child stops a certain misbehavior. But if you always respond the same way, he'll probably learn his lesson after four or five times. Consistency was key for Orly Isaacson of Bethesda, Maryland, when her 18-month-old went through a biting phase. Each time Sasha chomped on Isaacson's finger, she used a louder-than-usual voice to correct her—"No, Sasha! Don't bite! That hurts Mommy!"—and then handed her a toy as a distraction. "I'm very low-key, so raising my voice startled Sasha and got the message across fast," she says. A caveat: by age 2, many kids learn how to make their parents lose resolve just by being cute. Don't let your child's tactics sway you—no matter how cute (or clever) they are.

Sure, it's hard to stay calm when your 18-month-old yanks the dog's tail or your 3-year-old refuses to brush his teeth for the gazillionth night in a row. But if you scream in anger, the message you're trying to send will get lost and the situation will escalate, fast.

"When a child is flooded with a parent's negative mood, he'll see the emotion and won't hear what you're saying," advised the late William Coleman, M.D., professor of pediatrics at the University of North Carolina Medical School in Chapel Hill. Indeed, an angry reaction will only enhance the entertainment value for your child, so resist the urge to raise your voice. Take a deep breath, count to three, and get down to your child's eye level. Be fast and firm, serious and stern when you deliver the reprimand.

Trade in the goal of "controlling your child" for the goal of "controlling the situation," advises Dr. Berger. "This may mean re-adjusting your ideas of what is possible for a time until your daughter's self-discipline has a chance to grow a little more," she says. "You may need to lower your expectations of her patience and her self-control somewhat. If your goal is to keep the day going along smoothly, so that there are fewer opportunities for you both to feel frustrated, that would be a constructive direction."

6. Listen and Repeat

Kids feel better when they know they have been heard, so whenever possible, repeat your child's concerns. If she's whining in the grocery store because you won't let her open the cookies, say something like: "It sounds like you're mad at me because I won't let you open the cookies until we get home. I'm sorry you feel that way, but the store won't let us open things until they're paid for. That's its policy." This won't satisfy her urge, but it will reduce her anger and defuse the conflict.

7. Keep It Short and Simple

If you're like most first-time parents, you tend to reason with your child when she breaks rules, offering detailed explanations about what she did wrong and issuing detailed threats about the privileges she'll lose if she doesn't stop misbehaving. But as a discipline strategy, overt-talking is as ineffective as becoming overly emotional, according to Dr. Coleman. While an 18-month-old lacks the cognitive ability to understand complex sentences, a 2- or 3-year-old with more developed language skills still lacks the attention span to absorb what you're saying.

Instead, speak in short phrases, repeating them a few times and incorporating vocal inflections and facial expressions. For example, if your 18-month-old swats your arm, say, "No, Jake! Don't hit Mommy! That hurts! No hitting." A 2-year-old can comprehend a bit more: "Evan, no jumping on the sofa! No jumping. Jumping is dangerous—you could fall. No jumping!" And a 3-year-old can process cause and effect, so state the consequences of the behavior: "Ashley, your teeth need to be brushed. You can brush them, or I can brush them for you. You decide. The longer it takes, the less time we'll have to read Dr. Seuss."

8. Offer Choices

When a child refuses to do (or stop doing) something, the real issue is usually control: You've got it; she wants it. So, whenever possible, give your preschooler some control by offering a limited set of choices.

10. Teach Empathy

It's rarely obvious to a 3-year-old why he should stop doing something he finds fun, like biting, hitting, or grabbing toys from other children. Teach him empathy instead: "When you bite or hit people, it hurts them"; "When you grab toys away from other kids, they feel sad because they still want to play with those toys." This helps your child see that his behavior directly affects other people and trains him to think about consequences first.

 

11. Give a Time-Out toddlers and kids time out. 13. Reward Good Behavior in kids and toddlers. Reward Good Behavior in teens and teenagers.

Stay Positive about parenting your baby, child toddler or teen.

No matter how frustrated you feel about your child's misbehavior,

As a parent of a toddler, you know what it feels like to be in a state of constant motion—and emotion. As your child continues to grow and develop, their daily needs and activities will change right along with them. Take a closer look at what to expect during the toddler years when it comes to diet and nutrition, sleep, safety, health concerns, and more.

Overall, the American Academy of Pediatrics offers these helpful tips on toddler nutrition:3

  • Only offer water or milk for toddler beverages. Juice is often high in calories and sugar.
  • Snacks are OK. Offer two to three healthy snacks a day to your toddler.
  • Consistency is key. Don't make food a big deal. If your toddler refuses to try a new food, say "OK," remove the food, and then offer it again another time. The key is to not make food a power struggle or attach negative emotion to it. Don’t punish your child for not trying a new food, but continue to offer healthy snacks at regular intervals.

·         Getting enough physical activity usually isn’t hard for toddlers. For them, play is work. The simple act of playing helps toddlers further develop motor skills, learn important concepts like colors and numbers, and sharpen skills like problem-solving, critical thinking, creativity, and more.

·         A busy toddler is always on the go and keeping them interested and focused can be difficult. As your toddler’s attention span increases and their behavior becomes more predictable and manageable, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to try new activities.

·         Different activities, both individual and group, are also a great way to help your toddler learn new skills, to add structure to your toddler’s day, to promote gross and fine motor skills, and to support cognitive development.

·         Toddlers are naturally curious, which makes this stage a perfect time for some parent and child classes. From soccer to yoga, and music to movement, there are plenty of structured activities for older toddlers

·         Your toddler will likely want to be by your side most of the time whenever they're awake. It’s important to let them get involved in some of the activities you’re doing.

·         It's often easier and quicker for parents to do everything themselves, but even allowing your toddler to help in the smallest ways can keep them active and teach important skills. Tell them to throw a napkin in the trash for you or allow them to use her toy broom to sweep alongside you.

·         Chores for toddlers will mostly consist of picking up toys, putting dirty clothes in a hamper, or putting books back on the shelf. Your little one will likely be interested in helping you do chores too. Allow an older toddler to assist you in wiping up messes, caring for pets, and making the bed.

·         Talking to your little one is key to helping them develop better language skills.6 Use descriptive words in your conversation that describe the color or size of objects. You might even narrate what they're doing by saying things like, “You are building with blocks. You knocked the blocks over.”

·         The best way to spend time with your toddler is to get down on the floor alongside them in a child-friendly space—but follow their lead. If they are playing with a doll, play with them. Just don’t be too concerned about whether they're doing things “the right way.” In a toddler’s imaginative play, it’s OK for bathtubs to be on the roof of the house and it’s fine for cars to talk.

·         Health & Safety

·         One of the biggest challenges to keeping toddlers safe is their new-found mobility. They walk, climb, jump, and explore. It only takes a matter of seconds for them to put themselves in a dangerous situation.

·         In addition to keeping them safe, it's important to make sure they're getting adequate sleep and proper nutrition. Regular wellness visits are key to ensuring your toddler is on target with developmental milestones as well.7

·         Visiting the Doctor

·         Well-child visits for toddlers usually occur with a pediatrician at 12, 15, 18, and 24 months of age.

·          Common health issues in toddlers include ear infections, colds, and skin issues.9

·          

·         

·         If you have questions about your child’s development, or you have concerns about sleeping or eating habits, or behavior issues, talk to the pediatrician. Ask questions about what types of food you can introduce to your child and how to do so.

·         The toddler stage also typically includes the transition from sleeping in a crib to sleeping in a big kid bed, though parents shouldn't feel pressured to make the switch at a certain age.12 If your child is still comfortable in a crib, there's not usually a reason to move them until they are older.

·         If your child is a younger toddler, they're probably still taking two naps a day. You don't need to change that unless you've already started to see indicators that this is changing on its own.

·         For example, if your toddler is starting to have trouble falling asleep at what would be the normal time for a nap or doesn't seem tired at the same time in the morning, it may be time for just one nap per day

·          In the past, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended children under age 2 not be exposed to screen time. That policy was updated in 2016, however, as more apps and sites became more toddler-friendly.

·          

·         

·         However, screen time should still be used in extreme moderation with toddlers. Healthy ways to use digital devices include reading books online or using apps that allow your little one to video chat with distant relatives.

·         Try to limit the amount of TV your child watches, and don’t leave the TV on for background noise as there’s evidence it could affect your toddler’s ability to learn.

·         You may also want to think twice about bringing your toddler to the movies. If you are bringing older kids to see a movie, consider finding a sitter for your toddler. 

·         As a parent of a 4-year-old, you may notice your child is all about living life to the fullest and making the most of every opportunity to learn, play and grow. Get ready—your 4-year-old’s skills and knowledge will continue to develop by leaps and bounds as they get ready to enter kindergarten.

·         Understanding the key developmental milestones of this age will help you ensure your child is on track. It can also help you see what skills your child may need to learn and identify any warning signs that you and their pediatrician should discuss.

Physical Development

As a 4-year old develops physically, they not only grow taller, but continue to get a better handle on their gross and fine motor skills. A 4-year-old is still learning how to control their body and is more likely to try new things as they succeed.1



Key Milestones

  • Gross motor skills: Your 4-year-old will become aware of their own place in space and be less likely to bump into others while moving. Their running abilities will improve dramatically, and they may even be able to dribble a soccer ball.
  • Fine motor skills: At age 4, your child should have improved hand-eye coordination which results in an ability to string beads, complete puzzles, and color inside the lines.
  • Major highlights: By this age, most kids can dress themselves, brush their teeth with supervision, and are usually potty-trained.

·         Social Development

·         Temper tantrums are (hopefully) becoming less and less frequent as your child has learned coping mechanisms, but a major life event, such as a move, a divorce, or the birth of a sibling can definitely affect your child's moods and behaviors.2  

·         While trusted adults, like parents and grandparents, are still the primary source of your child's interactions, the opinions of friends and peers are starting to become more important.

Cognitive Development

Your 4-year-old is likely getting better at problem-solving and has a good handle on how to incorporate a solution that will appease everyone (or at least tries to).

While most 4-year-olds can recite the alphabet and memorize shapes and colors, cognitive development isn’t just about learning facts and academic basics. Learning for children this age also envelops learning about learning—how to ask questions and how to process information into understanding.3

Speech & Language

This age is definitely a chatty one, as more language skills develop (what they say and what they understand) at an astounding rate. Your 4-year-old should have about 2,500-3,0004 words they understand. By the fifth birthday, however, it will balloon to over 5,000 words. 

Play

Most 4-year-olds love using their imaginations. They may even develop imaginary friends.

Your child may go between reality and pretend play constantly. They might enjoy playing house or dress up, and getting their friends involved, too.

Key Milestones

  • Shows an interest in goal setting for herself—like learning how to ride a two-wheeler, or learning how to pump a swing.
  • Wants to make decisions on their own, such as picking out their own clothing or choosing a snack.
  • Understands the concepts of numbers—that the number four represents four flowers or four balls.

Parenting Tip

To help your 4-year-old continue learning, just keep talking. Answer any questions (even if you don't know the answers), read, and get them thinking about words by asking questions about what you are seeing and doing. 

Other Milestones

By age 4, most kids start to recognize their sexuality. Your child may have questions about where babies come from or why boys and girls are different.1

It’s important to provide basic, matter-of-fact information. Use correct terminology about your child’s body parts.

Avoid scolding or punishing your child for touching her genitals. You may want to begin talking about what’s socially acceptable and what isn’t. For example, explain that no other person, other than a doctor or a parent, can touch a child’s private parts.

Parenting, raising kids, how to promote self-improvement in your kids, self-improvement, toddler

 

This is the usual wide-eyed response when people hear that I have four teenagers. Sometimes people grimace, like the mere thought of it is a bitter pill. They are thinking, I know, that teenagers are hard, which, of course, they can be. Everyone assumes I must be insanely busy, or maybe just a little insane, and that raising four teenagers must be nearly impossible.These thoughts occur because many teenagers tend to be either terribly disorganized, requiring constant nagging, or tightly wound, perfectionistic, and in need of constant therapy. There’s also all that new neuroscience showing, unfortunately, that the brain regions that help humans make wise choices don’t mature until kids are in their mid 20s, and that many potentially life-threatening risks become more appealing during adolescence while the normal fear of danger is temporarily suppressed. Knowing these things can make it hard for us parents to relax.

Though teenagers can be hard to parent, the good news is that parenting teenagers is in many ways a hell of a lot easier than raising little kids. For this to be the case, however, our parenting needs to shift. Here are the three big shifts that parents of teenagers need to make to survive their kids’ adolescence.

1. We step down as primary decision makers and step up our coaching

When our kids are little, we have to manage pretty much every aspect of their lives. We set bedtimes, plan meals, and make doctor’s appointments. We arrange carpools and make all major decisions: where they will go to school, if they will go to camp, and where we’ll go on vacation. And when our kids are little, for the most part, they appreciate having involved and loving parents. It’s great having someone else manage your calendar and get you to your activities (mostly) on time.

But once kids reach adolescence, they need to start managing their own lives, and they do tend to fire us as their managers. Parents who are too controlling—those who won’t step down from their manager roles—breed rebellion. Many kids with micromanaging parents will politely agree to the harsh limits their parents set with a “yes, sir” or a “yes, ma’am” attitude, but then will break those rules the first chance they get. They don’t do this because they are bad kids, but because they need to regain a sense of control over their own lives.

The answer, according to neuropsychologist William Stixrud and long-time educator Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child, is to hand the decision-making reins over to our teens. You read that right: By adolescence, we parents need to (take a deep breath and) let them make their own decisions about their lives. It’s not that we never say no anymore. Nor do we stop enforcing our family rules. It’s that we start to involve teens more in creating the rules, and we let them make their own decisions—which they are going to do anyway.

Letting our kids become the primary decision makers does NOT mean that we become permissive, indulgent, or disengaged. It does mean that the quality—if not the quantity—of our support shifts. We give up our role as their chief of staff and become more like life coaches. We ask questions, and provide emotional support.

2. We influence them differently

It’d be great if we parents could just download information to our teens—say, about sex and drugs—and know that they were going to use that information to make good decisions.

MORE ON RAISING HAPPY TEENS

If you like this post, I think you’ll love my new book, The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction. If you’re in the Bay Area, we hope you’ll join us for the launch at the Hillside Club on February 20, 20! Find more information about Christine Carter’s book events here.

But giving teenagers a lot of information isn’t an effective way to influence them anymore. Interesting research on this topic shows that what is effective for elementary school children—giving them information about their health or well-being that they can act on—tends to be mostly ineffective for teenagers.

This is because adolescents are much more sensitive to whether or not they are being treated with respect. The hormonal changes that come with puberty conspire with adolescent social dynamics to make teenagers much more attuned to social status. More specifically, they become super touchy about whether or not they are being treated as though they are high status.

In the teenage brain, the part of themselves that is an autonomous young adult is high status. The part of them that is still a kid who needs our support is low status. They might be half independent young adult, half little kid, but they are hugely motivated to become 100 percent autonomous…even if they do know, on some level, that they still need our support and guidance.

When we give our adolescents a lot of information, especially when it is information that they don’t really want or that they think they already have, it can feel infantilizing to them. Even if we deliver the information as we would to another adult, teenagers will often feel disrespected by the mere fact of our instruction.

So, when it’s time to bring up the topic you want to influence your teen about, speak as you would to someone with the highest possible social status—someone you really, really respect. (I have to literally imagine that person in my head, and then imagine both the tone and the words I would use with that person.) Remember, if your teen feels disrespected, nagged, spoken down to, pressed upon, or infantilized, all bets are off.

3. We have a lot of hard conversations

Remember what you used to talk about with your kids before they hit puberty? There are days when I’d give anything to just be able to talk again about favorite foods and favorite colors and the tooth fairy. It isn’t that every conversation was easy when they were young, but I rarely felt the kind of discomfort I now feel while talking to my kids about things like sex—or even their college applications. What starts as a casual conversation can quickly become an emotional minefield. It’s hard not to let our own agendas creep in. And it can be really hard to manage our own big feelings about things.

Talking with teenagers about their lives can be stressful. But teenagers today are dealing with some really hard stuff, and we parents need to create safe spaces for our teens to talk about the hard things.

This takes a lot of courage. The simplest way to increase our ability (and, frankly, willingness) to have uncomfortable conversations with our teens is to practice doing it in baby steps. Instead of thinking about having a “big talk,” broach a difficult topic in short observations and simple questions. Let teens lead; our real value comes when we listen rather than instruct. Even when we have a lot to say, it’s more important to give them a chance to speak, to work out what they are thinking in a low-risk environment. Practice staying calm despite the discomfort. Keep taking deep breaths. Keep relaxing your shoulders. Notice your discomfort, and welcome it. It’s nothing to be afraid of.

As hard as it might be for us to watch, our teenagers are going to make mistakes. When they do, our anxious over-involvement won’t help. What will help, though, is our calm presence. This is more good news, because it is far more enjoyable to practice calm presence than it is to freak out.

Above all, we’ll do well to remember that their lives are their lives. It’s their journey, not ours. Our role is not to steer them through life like we would marionettes, but rather to help them feel seen, and to help them feel safe. For that, we need only to coach instead of managing, listen instead of instruct, and breathe through our discomfort.